cash for clunkers ...

here in dear ol' kantuck, 'cash for clunkers' is what we call the rush on hauling junk cars to the yard for a bit a scrap metal payola ...

or, at this moment, it makes me think of the johnny cash song 'one piece at a time,' but that is just barely relevant.

in the past couple of days, news has circulated that the $1-billion 'cash for clunkers' program is running out of funding. this is where the U.S. government will rebate you $4,500 for trading in a vehicle with a combined 18 mpg city/highway rating if you buy a fuel-efficient vehicle. there are some other requirements, i think one is having a near-beer with the vice president ... but who in the hell wants to do that?

word today is that the program will continue at least through the weekend, with congressional 'leaders' and president obama scrambling to find more money the country doesn't have to fund this thing. with the trillion dollars already pumped into the economy in 'stimulus,' there has not been one program that has benefitted me personally. and dammit, i am receded just like everyone else ... except strippers and near-beer breweries. sure, i have a clunker and i would love to have a prius, but just how am i supposed to pay for the other portion of the purchase? is there a program for that? yeah, it's called gainful employment.

anyway ...

with the money that has already been so-called 'doled' (in deference to any brits who might be reading), with our 330-million (and growing) population, that would translate to about $4,500 for each american if the government had instead issued direct payments to every man, woman, child and transgendered person in our nation. and you know what americans would have done if receiving a $4,500-check with our names on them? we would spend it, cause that's what we like to do. personally, i could used such a payment to upgrade photo equipment and get back into the business of shooting people ... or titty bar-hopping. just kidding ... i don't do that (anymore).

there is a bit of good news ... the economy only shrank 1 percent the second quarter of this year, with major positive changes in business spending, home and commercial construction and consumer spending. that is good news. some economists have said this could signal 'the bottom' of the decline ... let's just all gather in a prayer circle and ask that it be so. this report siganls change in the right direction, but unemployment is still expected to reach 10 percent nationwide by the end of the year and any changes in hiring and job creation would likely not be fruated (did i make that up?) until first quarter 2010 ... which, of course, is exactly the moment the truth will be revealed about life on other planets and google turns into skynet.

so there is good and bad news today ... firstly, the good as the economy shows signs of recovery.

the bad ... none of us will get to enjoy it as the destruction of the human race by machines allied with the monolith worshipers of altaron 5 begins and drives inflation through the van allen belts.

but i could be wrong ...