holy hell, life adds up and stuff ...

i warn you, this is an entry (the first in some months, you see) where i am going to talk about nothing but me, me, me ... all the cool stuff i have done, my struggle, my pain, my total lack of respect for mother earth and the complete absence of concern for the fellow man and the fellow man's children.

well, maybe i will not go that far, but i think i would be safe in saying, i am going to be writing a lot about myself, so if you are one of those who subscribes to the ideal that josh givens only cares about josh givens and that he thinks too highly of himself and should immediately cease referring to josh givens in the third person (that's a literary term, all you accountants and high school teachers), you may do well to halt your perusal at this point.

now that all those losers have left, we can get down to the real party ...

okay, friends, let's get serious for a moment ... who likes those multigrain cheerios? hmmm, i am counting a few out there ... excellent. i enjoy that cereal, as well, though i am not sure it is helping my regularity at any benefit. they have fiber, right? i don't really know what's in 'em, other than multiple grains (duh), since i cannot understand the first thing on that massive nutritional table they print on the box side.

anyone else remember the times when the side of a cereal box was reserved for only the most important and easy-to-follow of material, such as the booty cap'n crunch was pulling or how many tiny, tiny chocolate chips were in each cookie crisp? ... or maybe the occassional rendering of the complete set of cereal box toys, which (of course) you could never fully collect ... and mentioning cereal box toys, there's a couple of thoughts there ... since when did they start putting toys outside the bag containing the sugary 'breakfast' treats and why in the hell didn't anyone ever think that shoving your grubby little shigelosis-encrusted paw into your food was a bad idea? at least 'they' got it worked out in time for my offspring to miss out on that biological (ahem) crap shoot ... these young'uns today are too coddled. swine flu!? ha, i say ... everyone's washing their hands before breakfast these days ... weaklings.

josh givens is thinking he has gotten a bit off topic ... josh givens was supposed to be talking about josh givens.

josh givens.

some of you may be wondering about all this (self) name dropping ... well, recently it was brought to josh givens' attention that he might hold himself in high regard ... josh givens never knew this. it was a surprise to josh givens. josh givens is shocked even by josh givens standards.

because, you see, josh givens is a normal guy ... really, well, kind of. josh givens bleeds when you slice him with a katana or a scimitar ... long swords, that's a different story, but you should all know josh givens does bleed. however, his blood is green, so that rumor is true for those keeping scorecards. but this is not to say josh givens is a vulcan, but he does occasionally have cling ons.

some have said his tiberius is the coolest, as well, as in the context of 'ooohhh, josh givens, give me all that tiberius, baby.' okay, this post is devolving at a rapid pace ... slow down, josh givens, slow down ... coincidentally, that, also, is what she said.

but back to this thought of josh givens being the number-one fan of josh givens ... even if that were true (which it is not, as you, reading, prove you are actually the number-one fan of josh givens) what's so bad about being a fan of one's self? nothing, really, in the view of the president of the josh givens fan club (not actually a club, more of a loose confluence of wayward souls) ... all hail the mighty chief of JGFC, the honorable josh givens.

for, you see silly rabbit, only josh givens knows the mind of josh givens ... and in that lies the most confusing aspect of all in this accusation of heightened self-worth and acute sense of josh givens mania ... so maybe it is not self-love (hmmm, maybe not the best choice of terms) the accusatory types are seeing in our esteemed josh givens, no not self-love at all ... perhaps it is self-understanding of the life experience which has shaped josh givens. maybe you all can't handle that josh givens is down with his joshness. that's fine, we cannot all be this one or that one ... after all, that what makes us one planet of individuals, spinning in the same direction, yet out of control, and makes josh givens vomit at writing such a cliched turn of a phrase as 'one planet of individuals, spinning in the same direction, yet out of control.'

so you see, when considering such things as decoder rings in the cocoa puffs and whether there is actually any real cocoa in cocoa puffs in the first place, one may surmise that josh givens may not think too highly of himself at all ... it just might be that josh givens doesn't think much of josh givens, at any rate ... could be that josh givens hates himself just as much as you hate josh givens.

but in the words of all those wonderful street-beat lyricists of yore, one must not hate the player, one must put the blame on the game ...

(josh givens.)